Just as my memoirs of mistakes were about to capsize my heart for the day, Paul walks in wearing a robe and holding a towel. Everything in me wants to fall on my knees and let the tears go. I keep my composure. He doesn’t say hello, just cuts to the chase. “Come here.”
For the next 10 minutes, we stand at his bedroom window and stare at the trees. He’s captivated with a certain kind of leaf, that when inspired by the wind, resembles the crackling of a fire ember.
He may have 4 meetings from now until the end of the day, only followed by weeks on the road, but right now…Paul’s mesmerized by the wind. He doesn’t let the next moment rob him of the current one.
With a pleasant voice, he points out more trees with this certain kind of leaf, the typical cloud cover over Oregon, and the fact that its his favorite kind of day. He waits with me until I’m done drinking the view in, and then returns to his day. What does it take for a man to not lose his soul? What does it take for a man to be just as happy watching leaves in the wind, as he is when standing on stage being recognized by thousands?
Paul’s reality finds itself successful at exposing my well developed skill at finding reasons why I cant be happy in the now. Thank-you Paul for screaming with your life that there’s just no good reason why I shouldn’t be as happy as I’ve ever been right now.
5 comments:
Exact same thing happened to me a month ago. Burdened with the weight of past sins and current areas of struggle, tears just streamed down my face as I bowed my head down, until a body of fur rubbed itself against me, meowed and looked up at me. I almost wanted to push him away in frustration but he looked at me, rubbed his furry body against my leg and then settled down next to me purring. Its not everyone's cup of coffee but as that cat laid next to me, it taught me more about contentment and silent trust in God in just that one moment than I had ever learned.
Thanks for sharing this Tyler :-)
"Where do we go nobody knows
Don't ever say you're on your way down, when
God gave you style and gave you grace
And put a smile upon your face."
compliments of Chris Martin, but from me... your beautiful honesty brings joy for you from me.
whhoopps a . . .dandelion!
weirdly never noticed your 'rambling site' b4...until 2nite... :) being blonde and all...I read your current blog last - we us Brits put the dates the opp way around. . .anyhow,
ta for sharing your heart with us all... weirdly the exact same thing happened to me today...
heaviness of my past, along with current areas I struggle with - trying to accept His forgiveness - even that of myself. . . Wrestling back & forward within my mind...as I sat out on my apartment balcony overlooking the sea...Papa brought 10 Starlings, out of nowhere, which proceeded to perform the most beautiful creative show I've ever seen... I've never seen birds fly so closely before...they knew I was there and it just seemed like they were there to lift my spirit and reconnect me to LIFE! why do we find it so hard to find happiness at times...when its simply all around us?!
Ty - amongst all your other gifts, you have a real talent for writing... catch me up on all...
hope your arse isn't numb after all that driving...give it a slap or two!
K
TY! i LOVE your writings/how you write.
seriously.
-linds
this is saturday living
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