BOUNDARIES: an ironic path to sincere love.

"Boundaries are where identity comes from. They define what is you and what is not you. Some have not been able to own their own their own gifts, talents, desires, and dreams because they are unable to set boundaries on others definitions and expectations of them. You must take ownership of how you feel, how you think, and what you want, or else you run the risk of being defined by others."

-Townsend and Cloud (in "Boundaries" on pg 213)

Everytime i open this book, I sit mesmerized and just simply happy to be hearing someone answer so many of my subconscious questions. Yet, simultaneously i find myself breaking inside at the thought of the pain i've injustly felt and caused because of my lack of boundaries. Needless to say, it was quickly made clear to me that developing healthy boundaries is the most significant pending need in my life.

I have for far too long handed dysfunctional and untrustworthy people the right to hurt, abuse, and offend me. The more unfortunate dynamic is that i've opened my life widely to anyone in my path in the name of "love." And now, after years of building my life on this foundation of "love," I find myself 24, married, and reasonably crippled when it comes to knowing who i am and what i want. I'm just happy the story doesn't end here.

Today is a new day. Tomorrow will be another. Im just happy to know that i wont be defined by the thoughts and opinions of others (nor my assumptions of what those may be) in either of them. Though it may the beginning, I'm just excited to be on the journey towards a healthy life, defined by simply what Holy Spirit says about me, full of the authentic wants in my heart, and an ability to sincerely love.