Marriage Counseling from a One Month Veteran.

Its been 49 days since I repeated those vows, and though I may not be a veteran on this journey called "marriage," here's a few thoughts. They derive from both my substantial failures as a husband thus far, as well as, what i consider to be a few success' the wife and i have navigated. All of which, is heavily subject to change, especially in light of my recent and earth shattering discovery that i "dont know everything," which was so kindly stated by my wife.

3. Hooked on Phonics works for marriage. This has been one of the more refreshing dynamics of our first month together. When I'm home, my wife and I lay in bed after our favorite TV show or dinner with friends and read a chapter of our current relational help book. I feel like what this says to my wife is that i care about the progression, maturity and general health of our relationship, and i want to learn how to better love and interact with you. No matter how insensitive, misunderstanding or hardheaded i may have seemed in that argument earlier today, she is reassured every night that i am still in this and bent on learning with them. In the midst of my poor husband skills, I've seen my wife significantly recover excitement about marriage after reading together. Its a great tool to stay growing in your love, and just as importantly, to keep your hearts connected in the process. Books i would highly recommend: "Boundaries." -Townsend and Cloud. "Sheet Music." -Leman. "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus." -Gray.

2.Emotionally Connected and Holy Spirit Filled Sex Life. As newlyweds, we obviously don't have a frequency problem in the department. What i have quickly discovered though, is that sex is just as much a tool for emotional health in marriage as it is a pleasureful gift to satisfy. Not letting sex simply become an act of physical satisfaction (which takes quite a fight at times) has changed things dramatically in our day to day lives. I have watched my wife's walls crumble and her insecurity run quickly away as we partake. What i feel like this communicates to my wife is this: my concern for our heart connection and her emotional needs over my physical ones and that she is more than a sexual partner, but a intricately designed woman that i am committed to loving. "Sheet Music" is a great read on the issue. Also, try inviting Holy Spirit into the bedroom. I dare you. I think what you'll find is a God who loves knitting hearts together.

1. Learn a New Language. I think im finally starting to understand how you may be sure that you're made for your significant other. Only if his/her love language is the hardest language of love for you to speak. I'm convinced this is God's seemingly cruel but actually grace gift that keeps us growing in our capacity to love. Here's my dilemma: A)My wife gets high on words. B)I find words to be cheap and insignificant. C)Thus, my internal love might as well not exist, b/c without using words, my wife would never know it, and much more so, feel loved. Here's my point: I've had to learn to sacrifice whats natural to me-using touch and time to translate my love-and fight to communicate how i feel and what i think about my wife. I cant say i'm a legend at the fight, but when i do, i find a wife confident, loved, and secure in our life together. Great read on the issue: "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus."

Here's your chance: Counsel us. Whats something you've seen or learned about marriage that you would recommend?