TOP 3 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A WOMAN. especially when that woman could be or is your wife.

In our first Christmas season together, I found myself often lost in the thought of “how the hell did I get Analee?” Beyond her being substantially more good looking, intelligent, and magical than I am, I’ve gotten centimeters away from blowing my chances with her all together-more than a few times. In celebration of both, her grace for my complete failure as a boyfriend, as well as, her spending this Christmas-and every other Christmas on earth- with me…I thought I might share my “epic fails” with the world. Take it from me all you men out there. Though it worked out for me in the end, the following is not a guide to success with women.

1. “We are not God’s best for each other.” A month into our dating relationship, I had a major epiphany. It was a treacherously wrong epiphany and one built on treacherously wrong theology…but an epiphany none-the-less. Our first month of dating was a hard one. Friends not supporting us, individual confusion, and plenty of miscommunication were among few of the usual suspects. In all my wisdom, I one day concluded that if God really wanted us together, it just wouldn’t be this challenging. In turn, these brilliant words exited my mouth and still plague our married life a year and a half later. All that to say, I don’t recommend making life-altering conclusions quickly, nor do I encourage having bad theology.

2. “If only you could just see it my way...” The better part about the first year of marriage is that my wife and I are both in love with the same person. The best part is that person is me (thanks Gary for the enlightenment). The unfortunate part is that, though this may be true, it’s not extremely productive in the business of loving my wife and creating a quality life together. The truth is that “if she could just see it my way,” things would be considerably easier, but would likely take us swiftly away from a healthy existence. Here’s the first thing to learn as husband, boyfriend, and man: Shut up and listen. We NEED the thoughts, opinions, perspectives of our significant others. The way they feel, think, and see is a magnet to our compass that will more often than not point us north.

3. “We will NEVER be married.” Again, the wisdom, foresight, prophetic ability, and infinite understanding of Tyler Ward on display. Though Analee was typically the one to see things in black and white, I gave it a go on this day. It didn’t suit me well. On the verge of asking a woman-who I was not 110% sure of marriage with-to move across the country with me, my fear of commitment adopted this thought, gave it at least a few minutes of reasoning, and proclaimed it boldly. I spent the next month and a half on my bedroom floor plagued by the misery of missing her, then drove 2000 miles in 24 hours, and pleaded with her to give me a chance to take the foot out of my mouth. She did. But…I wouldn’t recommend the process. Make it easier on her and yourself...Even if you have a disposition to dramatic declarations like me, resist them.

Merry Christmas. Hope it’s full of gut-hurting laughs, genuine love, and moments with the divine.